A Most Unsuitable Earl (Regency Collection Book 3) Read online

  She grunted, a dissatisfied expression on her face, and rose to her feet. “You aren’t having any…issues…getting things done in bed, are you?”

  His jaw dropped. “What?”

  “Because if you are, I know of a doctor who might be able to help you…you know…finish the job.”

  He gasped. She couldn’t be implying he might be impotent! Oh, of course she was! “I forbid you from thinking such a horrible thought. Do you hear me? Get that thought right out of your mind this instant.”

  Her face fell. “Then it’s true.”

  By now he was ready to pull his hair out. He stormed over to her, hands clenched at his sides, steam coming out of his ears. “No, it’s not! Why don’t you ever listen to me? I tell you what’s going on, but you don’t listen. I might as well be talking to the wind.”

  “Can you ensure that Catherine is expecting by the end of this month?”

  He threw his hands up in the air. The wind. She was just like the wind! He couldn’t reason with her any more than he could reason with the wind. It did what it wanted, blowing hot or cold, fiercely or softly. There was no rhyme or reason to it. It simply did its thing, much like she did hers. And once it was determined to blow in a certain direction, it didn’t stop until it was done. Why did he even try? He’d be better off locking his door so she could never enter the library. Yes, that’s what he’d do! He’d start locking his door and stuff his ears with something so he wouldn’t have to listen to her bang on his door.

  Turning his attention to the door, he realized that it’d been open the whole time his mother had been pestering him. He motioned to the door and hissed, “Are you satisfied? That door has been open the whole time. Now the whole house knows what we’ve been saying.”

  A scandal of a different sort might stem from this if the servants talked. Maybe he could give them extra money in exchange for their silence. The irony wasn’t lost to him. He used to slip stories here and there and pray the servants would spread rumors of his indiscretions around London. And now he was trying to think of ways to get them to keep quiet.

  At that moment, he heard the door in the entryway open. Was the butler running off to spread the gossip already? He moaned and rubbed his eyes. Why couldn’t he be out in the country where life was simple and quiet? At least out there, the servants had no one to talk to but themselves.

  “Good afternoon, my lady,” the butler said.

  Catherine returned the greeting.

  Ethan turned back to his mother. “I don’t want you bothering Catherine about this grandchild nonsense. Is that understood?”

  His mother’s eyes widened. “Why? Will she tell me you haven’t been diligent about giving me one?” she whispered.

  “No,” he hissed. “But it’s embarrassing you’d even ask. It’s one thing for you to harass me this way, but I won’t have you doing it to her.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but Catherine showed up in the doorway of the library. “I have something wonderful to tell you,” Catherine said, her face glowing with excitement as she entered the room and went over to Ethan. “I didn’t want to say anything sooner in case I was wrong, but now I’ve confirmed it and can safely tell you. I’m with child! Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Ethan nearly collapsed with relief. Good. He was spared his mother’s nagging and the servants from gossiping. “That is wonderful, my dear.” He kissed her and looked at his mother. “Isn’t that wonderful, Mother?”

  His mother embraced Catherine and patted her back. “Catherine, I’m so delighted to hear this!” When she pulled away from her, she clasped her hands and added, “It’s so nice to know you managed to get the job done.”

  Catherine’s eyebrows furrowed and she glanced at Ethan, a silent question in her eyes about what his mother meant.

  Ethan waved the question aside. “Mother was in hysterics because Lord Hettinwood’s son’s wife is with child. But thanks to you, she can relax.”

  “Oh. All right,” Catherine hesitantly replied.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he assured her. “How was your day with Lady Roderick?”

  “Good. She and her husband are having a ball in two weeks. Can we go?”

  “Of course, we can.” Even if going to balls still wasn’t among his favorite things to do, he knew it would mean a lot to Catherine that she got to go.

  “Only if you feel up to it,” his mother added, patting Catherine’s hand. “You don’t want to do too much now that you’re in the family way.”

  “I feel fine,” Catherine replied. “And I really want to go.” She turned back to Ethan. “This will be the first ball I’ll go to where I won’t have to feel awkward. I’ll have someone to talk to and dance with. For the first time in my life, I can look forward to it.”

  He grinned, pleased by the way her cheeks grew pink and eyes twinkled. “We’ll have a good time,” he told her, noting that her smile grew wider.

  “Well, I think I’ll pay one of my friends a visit,” his mother said after she gave Catherine another hug. Cupping Catherine’s face in her hands, she kissed her cheek. “You, my dear, are a godsend.”

  As his mother left, Catherine directed her gaze to him. “What was all that about?”

  “No one can know for sure when it comes to my mother,” he lied. Like he’d tell Catherine about his mother’s need to compete with Lady Hettinwood! “At least she’s happy.”

  “Yes, that’s true.”

  He went to the fireplace and retrieved the book he’d been reading when his mother so rudely interrupted him.

  “What are you reading?” Catherine asked, approaching him.

  “Just some poems.” He showed the book to her. “My mother assumes I read literature unfitting for a lady, so you must never tell her I read something she’d approve of.”

  “Why, that’s silly.” She giggled and squeezed his arm affectionately. “However, I promised to honor my word about your reputation. Your secret is safe with me.”

  He kissed her and returned the book to its rightful place on the bookshelf. “What would you like to do today?”

  “Would you mind taking me to the circus again? There’s a show in one hour.”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “You enjoyed it that much?”

  “I did. Will you take me?”

  He took in her hopeful expression, her eyes lit with anticipation, her lips curled up, her hands clasped together over her chest. How could he deny such an angel anything? “Of course, I’ll take you.”

  “Thank you!” She kissed him and hurried for the door. “I won’t take long to change!”

  Chuckling, he watched her, pleased he could make her happy.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Next to Ethan, Catherine squealed in delight as the acrobats performed their stunts. He grinned, more from her reaction than from the impressive feats the acrobats employed on the tightrope and swings. Catherine had no idea how adorable she was, and he still couldn’t get over how different she was from the lady he had danced with every Season. If he had any idea she wasn’t as boring as she pretended to be, he would have sought her hand during her first Season. Oh well. Nothing could be done about the past. The important thing was that he was with her now, and better yet, she was expecting a child. In one fell swoop, she managed to appease his mother, save his reputation with the servants, and possibly give him an heir.

  He glanced her way and their eyes met. Leaning forward, he whispered in her ear, “It’s a shame I never took the time to get to know you better sooner.”

  He noted the way she prettily blushed and his smile widened. Turning his attention back to the center of the circus, he saw the acrobats finish their routine. Afterwards, a man named Iron Jim ran into the center of the ring to announce the next performance.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, have we got a treat for you,” Iron Jim’s voice boomed. “I present to you the best juggler in the entire world. I make no idle boast. But why believe me? You’ll have to see it for yourself. I introduce Willie,
the juggler who can juggle anything!”

  The crowd cheered as Willie, who had graying hair and a bounce to his step, came into the center of the ring. Four clowns followed him, two trying to carry a table but kept tripping or dropping the table in an effort to make the audience laugh. Their tactic worked well, for Catherine giggled in amusement. Ethan had to admit that the show was better the second time around, even if he knew what to expect.

  Two other clowns stumbled and almost dropped the bowls of items they were carrying. While two clowns finally managed to set the table, the ones carrying the bowls made a show of attempting a trade that neither seemed happy with. Finally, the clowns who set the table chased the ones carrying the bowls until they set the items Willie would juggle on the table.

  “I don’t know which I enjoy more,” Catherine told Ethan as she chuckled. “Watching those clowns or the juggler.”

  “Everything they do, it’s to keep you entertained, so you might as well enjoy all of it,” he replied over the audience’s laughter.

  The clowns bowed and cleared the stage so Willie could become the focus of the act. The drum rolled as he picked up the balls. He made a show of juggling the balls, adding more from time to time. Afterwards, he juggled some fruit and made a show of turning around and tossing them under his legs.

  When he was done, Iron Jim jogged over to him. Turning to the audience, he said, “Balls and fruits are mildly amusing, Willie. Surely, we can do better than that.”

  “Balls and fruits are what you gave me,” Willie retorted with a huff. “If you can’t come up with a good idea, then maybe someone in the audience can.”

  “A challenge for the fine people in our audience today?” Iron Jim’s smile widened as he turned back to the crowd. “Don’t be shy, folks. Willie’s questioning my integrity. I promised you that he could juggle anything, and I meant it. But it seems that he needs something a bit more difficult.”

  “A lot more difficult, please. I’m getting bored up here,” Willie added, making the audience laugh again.

  “There you have it,” Iron Jim said. “Give Willie something difficult so he’ll shut up and leave me alone.”

  From the audience, Ethan heard someone call out, “Knives!”

  Ethan looked in the direction from where the gentleman spoke and realized it was Christopher. A smile tugged at his lips. Leave it to Christopher to suggest something dangerous.

  Iron Jim clapped his hands together. “Ah, a very wise choice. What is your name, sir?”

  “Mr. Robinson,” Christopher called out.

  “Very good, Mr. Robinson.” Iron Jim turned to one of the clowns. “Bring out the knives!”

  The audience grew silent and watched as a clown brought the knives out. Catherine grasped Ethan’s arm and whispered, “I don’t recall knives from before.”

  “That’s because no one suggested them last time,” Ethan replied. “This part of the performance is based on what the audience wants.”

  “But aren’t knives too dangerous?”

  He shook his head. “Not for Willie. He’s experienced at this.”

  “And just so no one thinks the knives are fake,” Iron Jim began, directing Ethan’s attention back to him, “I’ll cut my very own hat.” He proceeded to do as promised.

  A drum roll accompanied Willie as he lifted the four knives and juggled them. Catherine’s fingers dug into Ethan’s arm, but he hardly noticed since he couldn’t take his eyes off of Willie who expertly tossed and caught the knives as if he was handling the balls.

  When Willie was done, Catherine and Ethan enthusiastically clapped with everyone else.

  Iron Jim held up his hand to silence everyone. “Maybe someone can come up with something a little more challenging. Knives, after all, are too easy, aren’t they, Willie?”

  “They are, but I love how well they cut fruit,” Willie replied.

  Willie then picked up two knives and two apples, and while juggling, he cut one apple and ate slices of it, not missing a beat the entire time. When he was done eating both apples, he set the knives down and bowed for the cheering crowd.

  “But that’s too simple. You need something harder than that,” Iron Jim said with a hearty laugh. “Now, who can come up with something harder?”

  Catherine tugged on Ethan’s arm. “Can he juggle fire?”

  Ethan nodded and called out, “Fire!”

  Iron Jim clapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Ah, a gentleman who lives a little more dangerously. What is your name, sir?”

  “Lord Edon.”

  “Bring out the fire,” Iron Jim called out to the clowns. “I bet Lord Edon doesn’t believe Willie can do it, but we don’t call Willie ‘the juggler who can juggle anything’ for no reason. We assure you, my lord, that we don’t make the boast in vain.”

  The clowns lit three torches and brought them to Willie. Catherine’s grip tightened once more on Ethan’s arm. Willie took the torches one by one and tossed them in the air, quickly establishing a rhythm.

  “Are you challenged yet?” Iron Jim asked him.

  Willie shook his head. “It’s too simple!”

  The crowd laughed and cheered while Iron Jim called for another torch. Soon Willie had added another.

  “How can he do that?” Catherine whispered in awe.

  “Because he truly is the best,” Ethan replied. “Apparently, Iron Jim didn’t make an idle boast after all.”

  “I should say not! He’s magnificent!”

  “He is.”

  “I’m glad you took me.”

  “I’d take you anywhere if it means you’ll be happy.”

  She gave him a smile that melted his heart. He returned her smile and held her hand. She leaned against him, and they continued to enjoy the rest of the show.

  ***

  The next day Catherine decided to visit her father. As much as she wanted to bring Ethan with her, she knew neither her father nor Ethan would like that, so she went alone. When the footman opened the door of her carriage, she got out and hurried up the steps to his townhouse. To her surprise, her father opened the door and embraced her.

  “Have you decided to flee from your husband? You know you can always stay here,” he said as he released her.

  She giggled. “Oh Father, that’s not necessary. I’m very happy with Ethan.”

  He grimaced at the mention of her husband’s name. “You don’t need to be brave. You can tell me the truth.”

  As she walked into the entryway, she greeted the footman and butler. Turning to her father who followed her into his townhouse, she said, “I am telling you the truth. Why is it so hard for you to believe me?”

  Her father looked at the butler. “We’ll have some tea and scones in the drawing room.”

  The butler bowed and headed for the kitchen.

  “Come. We’ll talk in private,” her father said as he took her arm and gently led her to the drawing room. Once there, he shut the door and turned to her. “Now, you may tell me the truth. Do you seek refuge?”

  She groaned and sat on the settee, placing her reticule beside her. “No. I am not leaving my husband.”

  “But you can. At any time…for any reason. I’ll understand.”

  “Why is it so hard for you to believe I’m happy with him?”

  He sat in the chair across from her, his shoulders slumped. “If your husband was an honorable gentleman, I wouldn’t fret so.”

  “You’re a wonderful father, truly you are. You never held it against me that I wasn’t a son, and you did all you could to secure a good husband for me. I appreciate all you’ve done.”

  His eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know if I like the sound of this or not.”

  She shifted so that she was more comfortable. “I only meant to convey my gratitude for how much you love me. And I want to reassure you that Ethan takes very good care of me, much like the way you always have.”

  He pressed his hand to his stomach. “I never thought I’d be compared to the likes of him.”


  It was unfortunate she couldn’t tell him the truth about Ethan, that he wasn’t the scoundrel her father thought he was, but she’d given her word to Ethan and she’d rather die than break it.

  There was a knock at the door, and her father told the person to enter. The butler came into the room and placed the scones and tea on the table between her and her father. After he poured the tea into their cups, he handed her a cup and smiled. “You look like you’re doing well, my lady,” he said.

  “I am, thank you.” She blew the tea to cool it before she took a sip. “It’s as delicious as I remember.”

  Her father accepted his cup. “Thank you,” he told the butler. “That will be all.”

  The butler bowed and left, closing the door behind him.

  Her father let out a heavy sigh and placed the cup back on the tray. “Catherine, it’s been difficult for me to leave you in that townhouse. Many times, I wanted to go over there and bring you back to safety. Tell me, is that…gentleman…you married discrete when he goes out to do his business?”

  She took another sip of her tea before holding the cup in her lap. “Why don’t you listen to me? You fret over nothing. I keep telling you that I’m happy, and I came over here to tell you good news.”

  “Good news? You and your husband have decided to live in separate residences?”

  Surprised that should be considered good news to him, she laughed. “Goodness, Father, no. That wouldn’t be good news.”

  “It would be for me.”

  “Father, I came to tell you that I’m expecting a child!”

  He winced and then he relaxed. “Yes, I can see why you’d consider that good news. Now he can leave you alone.”

  It took her a moment to understand that he’d imagined many horrors had befallen her in the bedchamber with Ethan and that since she was with child, Ethan could finally stop coming to her bed. She’d heard that some ladies dreaded the bed but felt the need to do their duty to the crown, so they gritted their teeth and endured lovemaking. But that was nothing like what she experienced. She wondered if she was the only lady who enjoyed being intimate with her husband.