A Most Unsuitable Earl (Regency Collection Book 3) Read online

  “She didn’t like it,” he admitted, “but it hasn’t dissuaded her from the lofty dream of seeing me married off and having an heir.”

  “I still don’t understand why you protest the idea so much.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure.”

  “Well, I don’t see you rushing off to get married since your husband died three years ago.”

  She shrugged and crossed her arms. “A widow is offered more freedom than a married lady, and I happen to like it.”

  “Then it seems we are in agreement that freedom is important to both of us.”

  “I hate it when you make sense. All right. What else do you want me to do?”

  He thought over her question carefully. “I’m not sure.”

  She grumbled.

  “What would be something about a gentleman that would convince you he’s not worth marrying?”

  With a sigh, she paced the floor, her hands behind her back and her head bowed. “Well, you have a title, and as much as you try to lose your wealth, you can’t.”

  “No, I can’t.” And he tried—oh how he tried!—when he gambled with the other gentlemen. “I don’t know how I get so unfortunate.”

  “Unfortunate?” She shook her head. “You, my lord, are not unfortunate, and that’s part of your problem.”

  “What if you put in the Tittletattle that I really don’t have any money?”

  “Lack of money won’t dissuade some ladies from pursuing you.”

  “Even if I have to forage for food from nearby farms? Write in the Tittletattle that I eat pigs’ slop.”

  She giggled but clasped her hands over her mouth so she wouldn’t arouse the servants’ suspicions. When her laughter died down, she swatted his arm. “I can’t do that, and you know it.”

  “Of course you can. The more absurd something is, the more it’ll scare ladies everywhere.”

  “Some ladies wouldn’t mind eating pigs’ slop if it meant they could be a countess.”

  “Surely, you jest!” What lady in her right mind would agree to live like a filthy animal? He shuddered. If he was a lady, he’d go off running in the other direction from such a gentleman. “It’ll work. Mention that I borrow my clothes from a family member who pities me. I have to beat the clothes on rocks because I can’t afford enough soap. You can even mention that my hair is fake.”

  “No one will believe any of those things. You’re one of the finest dressed gentlemen around.”

  “Which you can say is my cousin’s doing since he buys clothes for me. He’s a gentleman of great taste and quite generous.”

  “And you, my lord, are a gentleman who’s utterly charming. Despite yourself, you’re an ideal husband.”

  He grimaced. “I am relieved you have no desire to marry again or I’d be in trouble.”

  After tapping her foot for a few seconds, she let out a long sigh. “All right. I’ll put something into the Tittletattle about your lack of funds, but I won’t add in the pig slop or the part about your clothes being washed with rocks.”

  “Thank you. You are the most wonderful lady a gentleman can have the fortune of knowing.”

  “You remember that when I need you to submit my next book to the publisher.”

  “I will. I promise.” He pulled the hood of his cloak over his head. “Let me know when it’s safe for me to leave.” He hid behind the door.

  “Ethan, in the future, please use the servants’ stairs. I might not always make it to the front door before the footman.”

  “I will do as you request.” He bowed and motioned toward the door. “Is it safe for me to leave?”

  She opened the door and peered into the hallway. Glancing back at him, she waved him forward. Taking his cue, he hurried past her and slipped out of the house as quietly as one of the rats she claimed to have seen. He breathed a sigh of relief as he made his way down the street. With any luck, this would be the last ball he’d ever have to attend.

  Chapter Two

  Catherine twirled around then faced her dance partner. She had no idea what to say to him. He talked extensively about Hyde Park, and she did her duty as a lady, nodding and smiling at the appropriate times. But it wasn’t good enough. She could see the disinterest in his eyes and knew he was rambling just to have something to say so there wouldn’t be the awful lingering silence between them. All he could do was wait for the music to end so he could find another lady to dance with.

  She glanced at her father who stood to the side of the room, mingling with available gentlemen and trying to select a good one for her. She didn’t know whether to scream or sigh in frustration. No matter how many gentlemen he tried to match her up with, it wouldn’t do any good.

  The dance, mercifully, came to an end. She curtsied to her partner and took a reprieve at one of the chairs. She opened her fan, more eager to have something to do with her hands instead of cooling herself off. She really hated balls. Everyone else was having a wonderful time. Why couldn’t she? If only she could figure out what to say, she might be able to join in the fun.

  Laughter from a group of gentlemen caught her attention, so she glanced over at Lord Edon and those who surrounded him. She couldn’t hear what he was saying, but his audience burst into another round of laughter. When he bowed and left the group, she noticed that the gentlemen were disappointed he hadn’t stayed longer. As much as she loathed to admit it, she couldn’t help but envy him. He fit in so well in a social gathering. How did he do it?

  She’d danced with him on several occasions. He was in no way a potential husband. Her father would never approve, and she had no interest in him. She’d much rather live the rest of her life as a spinster than be with someone like him. But he certainly had a gift for attracting people. Not wishing to dwell on how much she envied him such a gift, she turned her attention away from him.

  “Lady Catherine, why are you sitting over here where no one can see you?”

  Catherine looked up at Lady Roderick who was smiling at her. Blushing, Catherine waved her fan. “I became unbearably warm.”

  Lady Roderick sat in the chair beside her. “I dread large gatherings.”

  Surprised, she turned toward her. Lady Roderick was beautiful with her dark hair and olive complexion, and from the few times Catherine had spoken to her, she struck her as a nice lady. So why would she dread the balls? “May I ask why?”

  Lady Roderick opened her fan and waved it. “For one, dancing makes me hot, too.”

  “I think it’s because of all the people in the room.”

  “Probably. But at times, it’s overwhelming. Sometimes I feel as if the walls are closing in around me, and when I do, I need to find a quiet place to rest.”

  “Like now?”

  Lady Roderick nodded.

  “Then why do you come to balls?” She waved her fan again. “You’re already married.”

  With a chuckle, she replied, “It’s because I’m married that I go to them. My husband enjoys political talk, and when we’re in London, balls are one of the places he can talk to other gentlemen who share his interest. I don’t mind it, really. My sister and her husband love balls, so it’s also a good way to see her. However,” leaning forward and lowering her voice, she added, “my husband is helping his friend find a wife, but don’t tell anyone I told you that.”

  “Really? Gentlemen have trouble finding someone to marry?”

  “Some do. Are you acquainted with Lord Clement?”

  Catherine thought of all the gentlemen she’d met that evening, and most were familiar to her but not that one. “I’ve heard the name, but I wouldn’t know him if I saw him.”

  “He has a cane.”

  “Oh him! Yes, I remember him, but I haven’t made his acquaintance.”

  “He prefers not to dance because of his limp.”

  “One can hardly blame him.”

  “If you’d like, I could arrange it so that he comes over,” Lady Roderick suggested. “He’s terribly
nice but easily overlooked.”

  Her face warmed. “I don’t know…”

  “Do you wish to get married?”

  Catherine took a deep breath and licked her lips. “Yes.”

  “Well, Lord Clement is one of the finest gentlemen you’ll ever meet. He’d make an excellent husband. In fact, I fancied him for myself before I married Lord Roderick.”

  “You did?” Catherine pressed, intrigued. No one had ever told her anything personal about their lives before. She wondered what else Lady Roderick would disclose.

  “I did. But I made the mistake of going out on the veranda without a chaperone.”

  “Oh, I remember! You and Lord Roderick were betrothed that evening.”

  “Yes. And while I had been hoping to marry Lord Clement, Lord Roderick intended to marry you.”

  Her cheeks grew warm. “He did?”

  She laughed and pressed her fingers to her lips. “But you must never tell him I told you that.”

  “I don’t remember him. Did he and I share a dance?”

  “Yes. It was one dance.”

  “You’re happy together, though, aren’t you?” Catherine asked.

  “Very much so. Despite our shaky beginning, it all worked out. If you think about it, I owe you a favor for letting me marry my husband.”

  Catherine giggled. “It sounds funny when you put it that way.”

  “It does, doesn’t it? But there are no hard feelings?”

  “No, of course not. I don’t even remember him.”

  “I hope you’ll let me introduce you to Lord Clement. I think you’ll fancy him.”

  “If he’s a friend of yours and Lord Roderick’s, then I’m sure I will.” Even as Catherine said those words, her pulse raced with unexpected excitement. After two Seasons, maybe things were about to change for the better.

  “I’ll return as soon as I find him,” Lady Roderick promised before she rose to her feet and disappeared into the crowd.

  ***

  Ethan glanced over his shoulder and cringed. Good heavens but Mrs. Duffy and her daughter were a persistent pair! Ever since he walked into the ballroom, the two had sought him out like two hounds hunting a fox. He hurried around a group of gentlemen who were talking and almost ran into the Duke of Rumsey.

  “Pardon me, Your Grace,” he quickly said.

  The duke stiffened but offered him a polite smile. “It’s fine, Lord Edon.”

  “Oh, there you are, you sneaky devil you!” Mrs. Duffy called out from behind him.

  Ethan’s grimace wasn’t lost on the duke whose lips twitched in amusement. “Mrs. and Miss Duffy,” he began, peering around Ethan, “I see you are acquainted with Lord Edon.”

  “Only as an acquaintance at the moment,” Mrs. Duffy replied and gave Ethan a wink.

  The duke chuckled. “I’ll leave you three to talk then.”

  Ethan scowled at the duke as he left him alone with the two hounds who circled about him. In the past he’d been polite to Lady Catherine, so he thought her father would at least stick around. Well, that only went to prove how little he could count on someone when he needed help.

  “Lord Edon, we happened to see you earlier today while we were shopping,” the mother said.

  “Oh, did you?” Ethan stepped back, not paying attention to where he was going, but knowing he had to back up since the mother and daughter were making it a point to close in on him.

  “Yes,” the daughter replied, fluffing her blonde curls and batting her eyelashes at him. “You were riding your horse in Hyde Park.”

  “I thought you said you were shopping,” he said.

  The mother took another step toward him. “We were, but we thought we’d go to the park to see if you were there.”

  He stepped back again. “You were looking for me?”

  “Well, we wanted to see the notable gentlemen there, and we happened to see you. As soon as we saw you here tonight, I told my daughter that we must talk to you.”

  He inwardly cringed as he continued to back up. “There are many gentlemen here. As you may have read in the scandalsheets, I’m not exactly suitable for a lady with delicate sensibilities.”

  “We know better than to believe everything we read.”

  Her daughter let out a high-pitch laugh that caused him to inwardly shudder. Goodness but there was no way he could bear to listen to that irritating sound for the rest of his life!

  “Besides,” the mother continued, still creeping toward him, “you’re a titled gentleman. You’re permitted a few indiscretions.”

  Oh great. Just his luck. His title was his undoing. If only he could give the blasted thing to his cousin and be done with it!

  “Perhaps you and my daughter might partake in a dance?” the mother suggested, slithering closer to him like the Grim Reaper who escorted gentlemen to their eternal abodes before their time.

  “Um…well…” He took another step backwards and bumped into someone. Surprised, he turned around and saw Lady Catherine who was sitting in a chair. Inspired, he helped her to her feet and pulled her toward him. “Mrs. and Miss Duffy, I want you to meet Lady Catherine.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. “Did you miss me, dearest?” he asked Lady Catherine.

  Lady Catherine remained still for a moment before she tried pulling her hand out of his.

  He chuckled and squeezed her hand so she couldn’t get away from him. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I had to discuss the latest happenings,” or whatever it was called, “with the Parliament. But I’m back now and can dance with you.” Glancing at the mother and daughter, he added, “My intended gets lonely if I leave her for too long. I trust you understand.”

  “Intended?” The mother’s eyes widened as she glanced from Ethan to Lady Catherine. “Forgive me, my lady. If my daughter and I had known…”

  “Think nothing of it. We’ve been keeping it a secret until her father approves,” Ethan lied.

  Before Catherine could protest and give his ploy away, he steered her away from the two ladies and ushered her to the dance floor. Knowing her sense of duty would compel her to dance with him, he waited for the music to start and bowed. She glanced around, let out a frustrated sigh, and curtsied. Good. As he expected, she accepted a dance with him.

  “What are you doing?” she muttered under her breath as they began the dance.

  “I had to escape from the meddlesome mother and daughter somehow, and you were the only lady I could find who wasn’t doing anything.” As soon as he said those words, he realized he could have worded it better.

  “For your information, I was waiting for someone to return,” she replied, a bitter edge underlying her polite tone.

  “I apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to imply you don’t have any friends.”

  “Who said I was waiting for a friend? I could’ve been waiting for a gentleman.”

  He resisted the urge to laugh. It wasn’t that he intended to even think something so rude about her, but it was no secret that Lady Catherine was destined to be a spinster. Sure, she was nice, but no one really knew anything about her, and ladies like that tended to be uninteresting, though he realized it was better than being a lady who was known for questionable activities.

  When he didn’t reply, she added, “I was waiting for a gentleman, in case you were wondering.”

  “I’m sure your father will wait for you to return,” he replied, mindful to keep his movements in time with the music.

  She gasped. “It wasn’t my father!”

  He glanced at her to see if she was joking, but her face remained serious. “Really?”

  “You needn’t act surprised,” she replied through gritted teeth.

  He shrugged. “Actually, I am. I mean, I know you’ve danced with other gentlemen besides me—”

  “One can hardly call you a gentleman,” she muttered.

  Ignoring her, he continued in a pleasant tone, “Your father does a good job of scouting them out for you.”

  “He didn’t scout you ou
t.”

  “Oh, he wouldn’t. I’m not your type. He has the sense to realize it.”

  “Thanks…I think.”

  “I assure you that it’s a compliment. I am a rake. Ladies with fine upbringing such as yourself know better than to marry me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You sound proud of that.”

  “I am. Do you know how hard it is to cultivate the rumor? It’s not as easy as it seems.”

  “Somehow I doubt it.”

  “Well, it’s true. And I know there’s no danger of your father trying to talk you into marrying me.”

  “Nor would I choose you, of all gentlemen, to marry.”

  “And that is also a relief. Your being alone when I needed you most was wonderful timing.”

  “I was waiting for a gentleman.”

  He chuckled.

  “I have a mind to go right over to that mother and daughter and tell them the truth.”

  She started to leave, so he reached for her arm and stopped her. “I apologize. You were waiting for someone.” Maybe there was an uncle or cousin she meant to talk to. That was probably the case. “We should at least finish the dance before we avoid each other for the rest of the night.”

  Her jaw clenched, she settled down.

  “I must admit I’m shocked,” he continued. “Usually, you’re so docile. You smile, say yes or no, and listen to whatever I ramble on about.”

  “Perhaps if you said something of interest, I’d be more entertaining.”

  His eyebrows rose. Who knew Lady Catherine could be so witty? He glanced across the room and saw her father frown at him. Simply for amusement, he grinned at him, knowing it would irk the gentleman to no end. Her father would never come out and tell him to get away from his daughter, but the older gentleman’s glowering stares never went unnoticed. And that made Lady Catherine the safest lady he could dance with. Marriage with her was an impossibility.

  The music ended, and both breathed a sigh of relief. He bowed. She curtsied. They bolted off in opposite directions, glad to have the horrible dance over with.

  Chapter Three

  Ethan made it ten steps away from Lady Catherine when his mother ran up to him with a huge smile on her face. “I just heard the good news!” She gave him a hug.