Restoring Hope Page 20

  At the mention of Julia’s name, Gary sensed the tension in the air. All he could think of was what she told him when he found her with their aunt and Chogan on the deserted prairie. “I’m sorry, Gary. I’m so sorry. I told those Indians where Woape was because I wanted her to leave. It’s all my fault. Can you forgive me?” He wanted to forgive her. It should be easy since Woape was alive and yet... He didn’t know how to let that go.

  His aunt, it seemed, noticed that Julia was a sore spot for him since she hesitated a moment before changing the topic. “Your baby is beautiful. May I hold her?”

  Woape nodded and gently placed the child in her arms.

  Erin grinned from ear to ear as she held Penelope. “I have to admit that I never thought I’d see the day Gary settled down and had a child. He was such a free spirit.”

  Gary pulled Woape close to his side and told her, “My aunt was sure that if I got married, I’d be happier than when I roamed the countryside, and I’ll be darned if she wasn’t right.”

  Woape’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink that was almost undetectable in the firelight.

  A round of laughter drifted from the spot a good twenty yards from where they stood. Gary glanced in the direction where Chogan animatedly told those around him something in the Mandan language. Gary could only pick out a few words, but nothing made sense. Chogan spoke much too fast. He also motioned to Julia who looked uncomfortable.

  Gary understood why. His sister was shy in the presence of strangers, and without their aunt right there, it didn’t help matters at all. He sighed. So maybe a part of him was still angry that she told Hothlepoya where Woape was. Maybe a part of him would always be that way, but she did make an effort to make amends. The least he could do was honor that.

  “I should go talk to Julia,” he told his wife and aunt.

  With the baby in one arm, Erin reached out and touched his elbow before he could leave. “Go easy on her, Gary. She’s been through a lot.”

  “She wouldn’t have been through it if she’d left well enough alone.” He immediately regretted the sharp tone in his voice when he saw his aunt wince. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be nice.”

  “Either be nice or don’t go over there. The poor thing’s paid her dues. She spent many nights softly crying. She doesn’t think I know but I heard her. There’s only so much guilt a person can take.”

  Not wishing to make what was a nice reunion with his aunt unpleasant, he gave a stiff nod. He kissed Woape before he headed over to his sister who had her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She seemed startled when she saw him coming in her direction. She even inched closer to Chogan.

  The men and women quieted.

  Taking that as his cue, Gary asked Julia, “May I speak to you?”

  She didn’t answer right away, and Chogan straightened, as if ready to protect her if she needed it, but she finally approached Gary. “Where do you want to talk?”

  Glancing around, he found a vacant spot by one of the earthen lodges. “Over there?”

  She swallowed but nodded.

  The walk to the private area was awkward. He realized that she was just as uncertain as him, and that surprisingly made him feel better. For the first time in his life, his older sister wasn’t an authority figure. Now, she actually seemed like an equal.

  He waited until she sat on the ground before joining her. After a quick internal debate on how to proceed, he ventured, “I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us. I know we’ve had our troubles in the past and what with Woape...” He sighed. “I understand you feel bad about what you did to her, but I don’t want that to happen again.”

  “It won’t,” she quickly said. “I’ve learned my lesson.”

  “It doesn’t have to be a lesson, Julia. It just has to be something someone does to protect another person. I love Woape, and I don’t like knowing you wanted to get rid of her. She’s done nothing to you.”

  “I know. I know all of this...now.” She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. “It’s just hard for me, that’s all.”

  “What’s hard?”

  “Seeing you with her. Seeing you with Aunt Erin. Seeing you with anyone who’s not me. You can’t stand me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “No?” She glanced at him, clearly not believing him.

  “No. Sure, I’m mad, but I’ll get over it. I see that you’re sorry. I know you don’t lie. I believe you won’t do anything to harm Woape again.” He paused, carefully thinking over what he needed to say. “If you want to be a part of my life, then I want to be treated like an adult. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

  “Yes, you are. I’m sorry about that too.”

  With her soft confession, the tension lifted, and he felt much better. “Let’s make a fresh start, alright? As adults?”

  She finally made eye contact with him and smiled. “I’d like that, Gary. I should apologize to Woape.”

  He stood up and helped her to her feet. “I think Woape would like that, and you should see your niece.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “I’m an aunt?”

  A chuckle rose in his throat. “Didn’t that ever occur to you when Woape was expecting?”

  “Well, no. Not really. I mean, it did to a point but I didn’t really think about it.”

  “Now you know. You’re an aunt, and your niece’s name is Penelope.”

  She walked beside him as they went toward the place where their aunt and Woape sat, fussing over the baby. “That’s a nice name, but why didn’t she choose an Indian one?”

  “Apparently, a woman by the name of Penelope helped her and delivered the baby, so she wanted to remember her.”

  When they reached the women, Woape turned her gaze to Julia—almost seeming hesitant.

  “I’m sorry, Woape,” Julia said. “I’ve done and said things to you that I shouldn’t have.” She glanced at Gary, as if asking him how much he wanted her to tell Woape.

  “She already knows about the Sioux. I told her,” he replied.

  Julia wiped the palms of her hands on her skirt and nodded. “I’m sorry, Woape. I won’t do anything like that again. And I promise to be nice to you for now on.”

  Woape patted the spot next to her. “Come and sit. We will talk.”

  Looking relieved, Julia obeyed.

  As Gary chose his spot to sit, he caught the unspoken ‘thank you’ in his aunt’s eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next evening, Julia’s sense of unease increased as three men covered in red paint sat before a drum covered in buffalo-hide. She glanced at Gary and Woape who sat on the other side of Erin. To her surprise, Gary didn’t seem startled by the sight of three scantily clad Indians. Maybe Woape warned him about this... What did Woape call it? An Okipe Ceremony? Julia glanced at her aunt who also glanced back at her, looking equally startled. Well, at least her aunt was just as horrified as she was.

  Julia didn’t feel it was appropriate to look back at those men. Not with the way they were dressed. Amulets on wrists, elbows, knees, and ankles did nothing to detract from their bare chests. Why, even their legs were exposed! There was so little covering their private areas. Her face flushed with mortification. Her gaze fell to the opening of the lodge. She wondered if she could slip out unnoticed.

  The three men sat in front of the drum, and she breathed a sigh of relief. At least now she couldn’t see everything—or just about everything. Two men were called out from the group gathered in the lodge, and she recognized Chogan’s name among them.

  Chogan and another man—whom she thought was Citlali, if she remembered the name right—stood beside the singers and took a rawhide rattle. A man she’d heard someone call the “Maker” placed a pipe and a ball of pemmican in front of the roll of rawhide. Then the three barely dressed men began singing while Citlali and Chogan shook the rattles.

  Julia shifted on the ground, still doing her best to avoid looking at the singers. Her gaze f
ell on the group of people who watched with avid interest.

  After four songs, Chogan and Citlali divided the pemmican while the singers took turns smoking the pipe.

  “Hoitahe, ihike kedehosh! Kamiseka, ihike kedehosh!” their leader called out.

  Julia looked at Woape to see if she would give them insight into what the man was saying.

  As if she understood, Woape leaned across Gary and whispered to Erin and Julia, “He says the pipe is going.” After another man spoke, she added, “That one tells the Maker to get the pipe.”

  The Maker approached the leader of the singers and ran his hands slowly down the length of the pipe. Then he took it and refilled it before he set it on the buffalo costumes.

  “The dancers will wear those,” Woape whispered.

  The singers picked up their own black stone pipes to smoke.

  Then their leader cried out, “Numak-mahana, pke mawa-hadhata!”

  “He says to move the Turtle,” Woape explained.

  “A turtle?” Erin quietly asked.

  “Not a real turtle,” Woape replied. “Tonight, the drum covered in buffalo hide represents the Turtle drums. Those drums are sacred to my people. They will use those for the next three days instead of that one.”

  As the man representing Numak-mahana moved the buffalo drum to the left, the singers followed. Then some of the onlookers began to vocalize strange utterances that Julia didn’t understand. The effect trickled across the lodge as more and more people raised their hands toward the medicine bundles. She glanced at her aunt who looked as overwhelmed as she felt. She gripped a handful of her skirt in her hands. Just what were they going to do?

  Chogan and Citlali resumed their role of shaking the rattles and the Maker laid the pipe and pemmican before the drum. The singers began a new song. While the drum got passed around, the utterances grew louder until half the people cried out in anguish and convulsed.

  Oh this was it! She couldn’t take any more! Bolting to her feet, she fled out of the lodge, not caring who she stumbled over along the way. She made it out into the clear night sky and kept running until she was as far from that lodge as she could get without escaping the confines of the tribe.

  “Julia!” someone called after her.

  She was too out of breath to answer, but she turned to see her aunt coming after her. By the time her aunt reached her, she finally managed, “I’m not going back in there, and there’s nothing you can say to make me.”

  Her aunt gasped for air and set her hand over her heart. “Who said anything about going back?” She took a moment to inhale before adding, “I wished you waited for me.”

  “What are they doing in there?” She glanced back at the lodge where voices of those crying out—whether in pain or joy she couldn’t tell—could be heard even from the remotest parts of the tribe.

  “I think Woape said this ceremony is to ask their gods for good health and abundant crops.”

  What a contrast to what Julia was used to in church. Shivering, she wrapped her arms around herself.

  “Are you cold?”

  “No. Just spooked.”

  “It looks like Chogan’s coming this way.”

  Julia considered running off again. She didn’t want to deal with him right now. She didn’t want to deal with anyone, except her aunt. The kind of thing she just saw... Well, she needed time to settle her nerves. “Go over to him and tell him I’m not in the right frame of mind to talk.”

  “You’re going to have to talk to him sooner or later, and it might as well be sooner. There’s no sense in giving him hope if there is none.”

  “Hope?” Whatever did her aunt mean by that?

  “I’m going to Woape’s lodge. My poor heart can only take so much excitement. Let me know what you decide tomorrow morning.”

  An uneasy feeling welled up in Julia’s stomach. She didn’t want to go through this. It was something she feared was coming, though there had been that small chance she had misunderstood what Chogan thought of her...and what she thought of him. With a quick glance around, she was assured that there were enough Indians outside so that no one would think her meeting with Chogan would lead to anything it shouldn’t. Not that she would dream of doing anything improper, but she recalled the scandal in her town. Poor Jane never did live down that shame.

  Chogan approached.

  Fighting the urge to escape, she straightened her back.

  “I should have told you,” he said. “Okipe Ceremony can be...loud. You not use to it?”

  “No, I’m not. It’s different from what I grew up with.”

  “Different can be good. You need time to be familiar with Mandan ways.”

  Another round of shrieking came from the lodge. There was no way she could ever get familiar with that. “I don’t think so,” she softly said before she looked away from him.

  “It is not hard. You are welcome here.”

  She’d been able to avoid the decision up to this point, what with Woape and Gary and all. But she couldn’t avoid it any more. “I thought about it,” she softly admitted. “Gary’s staying. He fits in well here.” She took a deep breath. This was harder than the time when she told Ernest she couldn’t marry him. “I don’t belong here.” There. She said it. And even as she thought she should feel relieved, she didn’t.

  “You can. You have a place here. With me.” He stepped closer to her, and her heart sped up as it always did when he neared. “It is custom to give you gifts when I ask you to be my wife. If you wait, I get them now.”

  “No!”

  He stopped in mid-turn and looked at her with an apprehensive expression on his face.

  She took a deep, shaky breath and wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt. Really, she didn’t anticipate having to do this twice in her lifetime, and this time was much worse because a part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and agree. But as she scanned the area and listened to the noise coming from the lodge, it dawned on her just how different their worlds were. She just couldn’t be a part of this. It wasn’t her. And maybe if she married him, she wouldn’t mind that tomorrow or even a month from now, but someday she’d wake up and realize this was a big mistake.

  “I’m going to leave in a week with my aunt,” she finally said, crossing her arms and staring at the ground.

  For the longest time, neither of them spoke, and she wondered if she should walk back to Woape’s lodge or wait for him to respond. She didn’t really want to stand there and wait, but a part of her couldn’t bear to leave him either. Oh, she hated this! Why did he have to live here? Then an idea came to her.

  Daring a tentative look in his direction, she said, “You could come with us.”

  He winced. “No. My place is here. There are few Mandan left. We cannot afford to lose more.”

  Her heart plummeted. And so that was it. She didn’t belong in his world any more than he belonged in hers. They’d crossed paths for a moment in time, and now it was time to separate. She turned from him, unwilling for him to see how much this affected her. Not everything worked out. There were no promises of happy endings in this life. Her aunt, after all, had had her share of heartache. And now, it seemed, that it was her turn. Julia closed her eyes. Even the night breeze couldn’t cool the sting of the hot tears that made their way down her face.

  When he spoke, she noted the hint of regret in his voice. “I hope you say good-bye before you leave.”

  His footsteps receded, but she didn’t dare look back. No. She had to keep her focus on what was in front of her. Just as she had with Ernest. She gritted her teeth and fought for the strength to stop crying. No, this wasn’t like the time with Ernest. She’d been fond of Ernest. He’d been a fleeting passion. But after the times she’d shared with Chogan, she suspected she’d never be the same again. And that made this much, much worse.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It was five days later when Woape heard the war cry echo through her tribe. She bolted up in bed and lifted Penelope who’d fallen aslee
p while nursing. The child stirred but didn’t wake.

  Gary sat up and grabbed his clothes.

  “You’re not going,” she whispered.

  “I have to,” he quietly said as he slipped into his pants.

  “No! I don’t want to lose you again.”

  As he shrugged into his shirt, he replied, “This is my home now. I have to do what I can to protect it.”

  Her stomach tensed. He was right. She knew he was right. There was no honor in a man hiding when the tribe needed him, but it pained her to watch as he gathered his gun and checked the chamber for bullets. The night when Hothlepoya came to their home came to the forefront of her mind. It seemed like a lifetime ago, considering everything that had happened since, and yet, it hadn’t been that far in the past—not even a year ago.

  Fear gripped her heart. What if Hothlepoya had returned? She recalled how he said that everything he acquired would always belong to him, even if he had to track it down for the rest of his life. Bile rose in her throat. God, no. It couldn’t be Hothlepoya. But who else could it be? Her people were at peace with the other two tribes in the area.

  She quickly swaddled Penelope into a blanket in hopes the child wouldn’t wake and cry. The last thing she needed was for Hothlepoya to find her child. He’d use Penelope against her if he could. She had to hide her. Gary removed the bar and opened the door. Her father, brother, and uncles were busy gathering their weapons. She caught sight of Erin and Julia who had left their room to see what was going on.

  Gary turned to Woape and kissed her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” she said, hating how final it sounded. “You come back to me.”

  He smiled. “I survived before, and I will again.”

  She hoped he was right. As he left their room, she followed him but stopped when she reached the entrance. Erin, Julia, her sister, and her aunts joined her. The sight of all able-bodied men rushing for battle was an eerie one.

  “I think Hothlepoya’s coming for me,” she tentatively told the women. “He’s marked me as his property, and he hates that I escaped.”